I used to feel shame for using filters in these new photo apps. As if using filters on photos was a lie. But I thought long and hard about them, and realized that filters are my translators. They allow me to show you what I feel about what I see. If you believe your perception is a veil that is dependent on you, then there are multiple versions of what is visible. The field was soft and hazy. The colors were wheat, coffee, and beige, soft white. But the little stars, the soft edges that revealed a portal into another realm were invisible..
so I found a way to reveal them.
Filters are their own kind of truth, a language of the secret things. There are so many options in a filter app, for each human person to figure out what they actually saw.
What language do you speak?
To me this field was a fabric of textures, soft and delicate. They melded with the overcast sky and transported me somewhere else for just that second when I took the picture. I wanted to wrap myself in it. And when I looked at it later, I realized it was missing what I felt.
How I see the world, envision it, is my compass. It helps me create my immediate surroundings. My perception is everything. I can manifest around me what life looks like to me, even though many times the gritty reality of this century and the way parts of my life have fallen apart hits me hard and takes my breath for a moment. I can't look away, I can't feel grounded. It all feels a mess. The path breaks into a thousand pieces.
I can use filters. And they are just as true as not using them.
Adding in what I really see. Letting everything take its course and trying not to drown in too much noise.
Theres so much more to all of this than meets the eye.
I have so much hope and belief in what else is here, right beneath the surface.
And despite the many ways in which my heart has broken, I still feel a lot of love in moments like this when the field opens up, and I remember what the world, and the people in it, means to me.