Ode to the Halyomorpha halys

Halymorpha halys; thats Latin for "Brown Marmorated stink bug."

They are back!

Just yesterday as I was getting dressed I said "maybe they won't come back this year."

Boy, was I wrong.

Upon doing some research you will discover that the stink bug is native to Japan, China, Korea, and Taiwan. They were discovered in Allentown Pennsylvania in September 1998. According to wikipedia that is.

I guess the Halymorpha decided they wanted to start up a new population here. So, for better or worse, we get to live with them starting in mid to late September, until Spring.

An important note; I may be wrong about the particular kind of stink bugs I'm dealing with here. They may not be brown; nor, marmorated. But they are some kind of stink bug, and they are not originally from the states.

The stink bugs are not coordinated. They are altogether awkward. They are completely harmless, and cannot fly straight. They make a very disturbing buzzing sound, and fly into your face. They look prehistoric, like tiny dinosaurs.

The warmth of the house seems to draw them in as the summer draws to a close, and they flock to our windows and walls, creeping around slowly, little antennas preening. I find it fitting that they have appeared on the actual weekend of Mabon; or the Autumnal Equinox. Its like they are a sign. Which is kind of amazing actually. They know that winter approaches. Smart little dinosaurs. Smart little Halymorphas.

The stink bugs are determined to survive. They want to live. So they try to crawl their way inside. And they achieve it. Every single night there will be 5-10 of them flying drunkenly around the rooms, casting eerie shadows on the walls, running into things, and buzzing in a way that makes me itch.

The stink bugs have one defense. They stink. They stink if you smoosh them, so my boyfriend flushes them down the toilet. (Honestly the smell isn't that bad, it just smells like soil. But I don't really like smooshing things if I can help it).

I have taken a different approach. I have tried setting them free. I talk to them as I do it; "please little guy, please. You can't live inside. Please stay outside. Lets make an agreement. Don't come in, and we can both live peaceably." You may be asking; did this work?

Not really. I did notice that they more regularly fly into my face, which implies to me that we have developed a strange bond. Or, its just coincidence. I have no idea. But I do feel a sense of connection with this creepy little creatures, who are very tenacious. I admire them for this. Perhaps its why I feel a bit of a desire to compromise with them.

There are certain kinds of bugs I have no tolerance for. Spiders; especially huge black ones, must face death.

Snakes get set free, as long as they are not poisonous.

I save moths and ladybugs, no questions asked.

I want to live in harmony as best I can, but there are also boundaries that must be adhered to. Because some bugs can kill you, or bite you. And some bugs give me a nervous breakdown. We're all living here on this planet, let's work together as best we can.

That being said, welcome, welcome little Halyomorpha Halys, little dinosaur friends from Japan, please don't fly into my head. Please stay outside, and sleep under the stones. I like you, and appreciate your cleverness. But you creep me out.